You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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