last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
