We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
