Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
