ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
