whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
