She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
please don't ironically join a cult
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