And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
