Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
