I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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