Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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