Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
