We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
