as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
