Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm sobbing to NWA
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
