Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
