Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
