Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
