Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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