you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
