Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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