Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
