i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
me + whiskey = a bad person
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