you have to choose: penises or morals?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
