he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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