Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
