"it" just moved
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i dont even know how to be here
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
