Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Kiss
Puke
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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