You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
