At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
