Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
