2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
