Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You left your phone here
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