You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My bed smells like the plague
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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