Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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