farters have to be the big spoon...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
