She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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