He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Randomize
