So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
