I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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