im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
