She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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