We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
