She is in my trunk
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
