with your own penis?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
