I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
