I don't usually arrange sex via text message
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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