i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need water and some morals
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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