what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
