Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
