I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
