So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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