"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
