You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
