I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
